Esplorando il mondo dei sogni lucidi (Stephen LaBerge, Howard Rheingold)

Prima di tutto: perché cercare di far sogni lucidi?

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La risposta principale di solito è: per divertirsi.

Immaginati di sapere che stai sognando. Cosa fai? Tutto quello che vuoi. Volare, sesso, uccidere, parlare con persone che non ci sono più: tutto è alla tua portata.

Sembra però che i sogni lucidi possano essere utilizzati anche per scopi più utili. In alcuni casi, si cerca di incentivarli in persone che soffrono di fobie, in modo da affrontare le proprie paure. C’è anche chi li sfrutta per esercitarsi con uno strumento musicale, per parlare in pubblico, per studiare una lingua, ecc…

Dopotutto, dormiamo per un terzo della nostra vita: perché non sfruttare le ore notturne per raggiungere i nostri obiettivi?

I due autori però, studiano i sogni lucidi a livello psicologico e sembra che la semplice felicità di poter fare tutto quello che si vuole abbia delle ricadute positive sul sistema immunitario e sull’autostima.

Ammetto che a volte, secondo me, attribuiscono a questa pratica degli effetti che mi sembrano un po’ esagerati (esplorare il senso della vita? Risolvere rapporti controversi con parenti e amici che sono morti?), ma non sono ancora riuscita a sognare a comando, dunque non posso sfatare le loro convinzioni tramite l’esperienza diretta.

Sembra che gli habitué dei sogni lucidi riescano meglio ad esercitare l’autocontrollo in molti campi, magari, proprio andando in cerca di situazioni difficili durante il sonno con lo scopo di affrontarle.

Chi ha una vita facile, di solito è una persona debole. Sono le difficoltà che forgiano il carattere. E allora, dicono gli autori, perché non andare in cerca di guai mentre si ronfa nel proprio letto? Non importa che si tratti solo di sogni: quello che importa è la nostra reazione, perché il cervello reagisce alle immagini oniriche come se fossero reali.

Ma come si fa ad avere sogni lucidi a comando?

E’ un processo lungo che richiede applicazione.

Bisogna abituare il cervello a mettere in dubbio la realtà.

Ad esempio, durante il giorno bisogna abituarsi a chiedersi: ma quello che succede è vero o è un sogno?

Oppure bisogna cercare di compiere azioni impossibili, ad esempio, volare.

Se si creano queste abitudini durante la veglia, è probabile che anche durante il sogno si ripropongano gli stessi schemi mentali, con la differenza, che nel sogno si può volare sul serio…

E’ dunque importante riconoscere i “dream signs“, i segnali che ci fanno capire che stiamo sognando: se iniziamo a fluttuare nell’aria, o se ci mettiamo a parlare con un amico morto, è innegabile che siamo in un sogno.

Ma per i segnali onirici sono diversi per ognuno di noi. Per imparare a riconoscerli, bisogna tenere un diario dei sogni: ogni mattina, appena svegli, senza neanche alzarci dal letto (perché i movimenti facilitano l’amnesia) dobbiamo trascrivere più sogni possibili, con più dettagli possibili.

Dopo un certo periodo, cominceremo a vedere degli schemi che si ripetono, delle assurdità che sono solo nostre, e quelli saranno i segnali onirici da tener sotto controllo durante il sogno.

Ad esempio, io sogno spesso di essere in una casa che non conosco, ma che so essere mia: di solito è grande e piena di cassetti e libri, e inizio a curiosare in giro.

Un altro segnale onirico può essere la lettura di un testo: di solito, durante un sogno, se ci capita di leggere un testo due volte, la seconda volta è sempre diversa, come se le lettere fossero cambiate nei pochi secondi in cui abbiamo distolto gli occhi dal foglio.

Vi capita di fare sogni lucidi?

Dov’è il gorilla? – Richard Wiseman

Studiamo il fattore attenzione, che è strettamente legato alla cosiddetta fortuna…

Questo è un libretto breve e semplice, che ci dimostra come a volte siamo talmente presi dalla monotonia o dai compiti quotidiani, da lasciarci scappare le occasioni che ci girano attorno in attesa che ci accorgiamo di loro.

Il titolo deriva da un esperimento in cui era stato richiesto ai soggetti di contare il numero di passaggi di palla in un video in cui giocavano due squadre, una vestita di nero e una vestita di bianco. A circa metà video è entrato in campo un tizio travestito da gorilla che ha ballato per un po’ prima di uscire. Alla fine, gli sperimentatori hanno chiesto ai soggetti se si erano accorti dello scimmione: quasi nessuno lo aveva notato.

L’avvistamento del gorilla richiede di incoraggiare la mente a passare dal pilota automatico al comando manuale. Richiede di essere curiosi (…).

Il libretto è carino, anche se non dice nulla che sia davvero nuovo. E’ comunque un buon ripassato, e ci ricorda quanto abbiamo bisogno di allontanarci dalla monotonia e dalla sicurezza assoluta. Ma mi ha anche dato fastidio che sia ricorso agli “esempi concreti”, cioè a quelle parti in cui riporta una situazione pseudo-reale in cui due o più persona discutono del libro e lo applicano alla loro situazione specifica. E Wiseman è consapevole che questi esempi mi danno fastidio (sì, proprio a me!), tanto che è lui stesso a ironizzarne verso la fine.

“L’unica cosa che ho trovato un po’ irritante è stato il modo in cui l’autore ha continuato a servirsi di noi per sottolineare certi punti.”

“Sì, ti capisco”, replicò Lucy, “ma pare che al momento vada di gran moda in questo genere di opere”.

Non si poteva evitare?

Perché Trump non mi piace…

… come Presidente degli Stati Uniti.

Sia chiaro: la sua personalità non andrebbe d’accordo con la mia, neanche al di fuori della politica, ma almeno, finché rimaneva coi suoi miliardi e le sue aziende, non me ne fregava niente. Mi fa paura però averlo come rappresentante della nazione più “influente” (eufemismo) della Terra.

Quando ho letto questo libro a gennaio, non sapevo che si stesse per candidare alle presidenziali, mi interessava solo l’approccio manageriale/psicologico, il suo modo di affrontare gli affari e la vita. E certe dritte le ho trovate, sebbene non ci fosse niente (assolutamente niente) di nuovi rispetto ad altri manuale di self-help. Della serie: pensa positivo, agisci, leggi tantissimo, metti per iscritto gli obiettivi, prendi ciò che ti piace e fanne un mestiere…

Ma è l’approccio generale che mi ha lasciata subito perplessa.

Il titolo in inglese è anche più chiaro di quello italiano: Think Big and Kick Ass in Business and Life. Cioè: manda tutti aff… negli affari e nella vita. Riassumendo 200 pagine con luoghi comuni: il fine giustifica i mezzi; poniti un obiettivo e raggiungilo, non importa chi ti si para davanti.

La cosa più importante è la dimensione delle vostre ambizioni.

E soprattutto, trovo preoccupante che un capo di stato dia alla vendetta un ruolo così importante nella vita di tutti i giorni:

Anche gli amici sono pericolosi: vogliono il vostro lavoro, la vostra casa, i vostri soldi, vostra moglie e persino il vostro cane. E sono gli amici; i nemici sono ancora peggio! (…) [by the way: Trump nel libro non esita a chiamare “amici” i Clinton, con cui andava a giocare a golf]

Io amo vendicarmi. Cercano di fregarmi in continuazione. Io gli rendo la pariglia, e sapete che cosa succede? Mi prendono in giro meno di altri. Sanno che se ci provano, troveranno un osso duro. Reagite sempre. Rendete la pariglia a chi vi fa del male. Non fatevi fregare. Reagite sempre e vendicatevi sempre. Viviamo in una jungla, piena di bulli di ogni genere che cercheranno sempre di fregarvi. se non reagite, vi giudicheranno dei perdenti, dei codardi! Penseranno di poter tranquillamente insultarvi, mancarvi di rispetto, e sfruttarvi. Non permetteteglielo! Reagite sempre e comunque. Vi rispetteranno per questo.

(…) Quando vi fanno un torto, restituitelo con gli interessi.

Vi sembra il ragionamento di una persona che può trattare con iraniani e nordcoreani?

A me, che valuto l’assenza di guerra come la necessità suprema in questo mondo: no, per niente. E sì, parlo “solo” di assenza di guerra (non di vera e propria pace), che sarebbe già un traguardo enorme, su questo pianeta. Ce ne sono già troppe di guerre in giro: se Trump adesso si mette a fare il bulletto con gli altri pazzi, va a finire che la guerra ce la troviamo a casa, visto che siamo pieni di basi militari straniere (e anche qui, si aprirebbe un discorso….).

Insomma, la mia paura principale con Trump al governo del mond… ops, degli Stati Uniti, è proprio quella di ritrovarmi il cratere fumante di una bomba in giardino. Non mi interessa come sia targata la bomba.

Fin qui la preoccupazione principale.

Poi, da donna, mi viene un leggero fastidio a leggere certe frasi:

Ho dato un tocco di sex appeal al mondo della formazione a New York, e ultimamente in tutto il paese, mettendo donne di bell’aspetto sulle copertine delle nostre riviste (…)

Ora, mi rivolgo ai maschietti: se vostra moglie, madre, sorella, figlia rimanesse disoccupata e l’unica possibilità di lavoro venisse da un’azienda Trump, credete che con questi presupposti la vostra mogliettina/mammina/sorellina/figlioletta sarebbe assunta sulla base delle sue capacità?

Sono andato a Parigi e mi sono trastullato con l’altra grade passione della mia vita: le belle donne, le super modelle.

“Trastullato”? Ma gli uomini vogliono davvero diventare come Trump? E’ il loro idolo segreto? Boh. Salvo poi sposare quelle come me… o come la maggior parte delle donne esistenti sul pianeta, che non sono né modelle, né super. Vi rendete conto di quanto umiliante sia una frase del genere per la compagna che avete accanto?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Le donne con cui mi sono accompagnato nel corso degli anni avrebbero potuto avere tutti gli uomini che volevano. Sono top model  e alcune tra le donne più belle del mondo. Sono riuscito a farmele tutte perché ho qualcosa che gli altri uomini non hanno. Non so che cosa sia, ma posso assicurarvi che alle donne è sempre piaciuto.

Ecco.

Se Trump si intende di politica internazionale come si intende di donne, meglio che vada a dire ai gatti di venir via dal giardino.

 

 

Happy Brain – Wendy Suzuki

My Italian edition tells “more intelligent, more active, happier – the method that awakens and empower the mind”. So you expect an essay about scientific researches on brain, neurons and hormons.

This is actually a part of what you will find on this book: updated and carefully examined. But the most funny part is Suzuki’s life.

When she was a child, she dreamed to become a Hollywood star. Then she became a swot and shy girl. After that, she became a very awarded scientist and teacher.

But she was not happy.

This is the story of her change.

She started with the relationship with her parents: they never told each other sentences like “I love you” and when she decided to change this aspect, she first asked for… permission!!

Then she noticed that she was fat and in no shape at all. So she got on diet (again: a high protein diet, my god, someone must tell her to read Campbell, Esselstyn, Fuhrman, McDougall, Barnard, because she cannot he healthy with such a lifestyle) and started to exercise.

Exercise is the pivot of the book; Wendy Suzuki even put the exercise in a college class! The author analyses the effect of exercise on the brain, on the memory, on creativity and on self-image. She explains using her knowledge of neuroscience, but the book is never hard to understand.She also gives us some tips: how to develop our brain capabilities through 4-minutes easy and little things (for instance: listen to TED’s videos or go up and down from your stairs).

Of course I do not agree with her high protein diet decision. And I do not agree with her when she says that the intentional exercise shall embody self-empowerment sentences without distinguish among them (for instance, she once suggests a negative wording like “I have no fear”, when I know that such sentences must never be negative, as it seems that our unconscious does not recognize the “not” form). But I liked her change a lot!

She was almost 40 years old when she noticed that something did not work in her life. Above all, I like her sincerity when she tells about her love affairs. I gasped when I read that she tried to meet new men through a meeting-organizer and through internet: is this so normal in the USA? And what about the coach? And the feng-shui mentor?

A well-know neuro-scientist with such whims!

Thanks God: I still have hope.

Better Than Before – Gretchen Rubin

I do not like the way the title of this book has been translated into Italian: it means “It is easy to change”. You just wait that the title goes on with “if you know how to do it”… but this is the way italian editors work.

Well, at first sight it seems that the author is obsessed with self-improvement, and this can give you the impression that she is rather perfectionist and fuss-pot, thas she is Always looking for a better way to spare time, read more books, write more, meet more people, be lean, be a good mother and wife and so on. I must admit that this first impression did not let her be very funny to me.

She often uses phases and episodes taken from the lives of her fans in internet or from chats with her friends, because she like to share her current passions with everybody to test if her opinions are true. Anyway, this method is rather subjective.

This is why I do not consider this book as a real self-help book. I rather consider it like a good chat with someone who is trying to improve herself. This is not little.

How many people do you know wich purpose is to become better than before? Maybe you know someone who tries to be the best in something, the best manager, the best mother, the best athlete and so on, but this is not the same thing. I would rather consider it like the opposite, in a certain way.

Gretchen Rubin does give you some nice tips on how to get good habits. The first tip is to work on yourself, to know yourself (although I think that her classification method is rather strict). One of her mantra is “be Gretchen“. We must learn to know ourselves and be ourselves.

What I do not agree on, is her diet habit.

I became vegan after having read a lot of books on diet and health, not only by vegan authors. I think I discovered the true secret to understand if a scientific research is good or not, and this secret is the time.

I bet that she has lost weight with a high protein diet. Of course she did, everybody does, it is physiological because our body normally works by carbs burning. And if you look at all high protein diet researches, you will see that they are tested on the short run (max one, one and a half year). On the long run, people either gain again their initial weight or they develop illnesses. At the end, I do not think that Rubin’s diet habit is better than before. Maybe better than the standard american diet, but in this case she is just leaner than before.

I hope that she can read some books of plant-based doctors (Esselstyn, Campbell, Barnard, McDougall, Fuhrmann and many Others). She is a book lover, I do not doubt that sooner or later she will put a question mark on her high protein diet habit.

The 4-hour Workweek – Timothy Ferriss

No matter if you are an employer or an employee: you probably think that you have to work harder and harder, the more the better, for a life, and then, at the end, when you will be 60, 65 or 70, you will enjoy the rent.
This is not what Ferris wanted. He experienced this way of life but decided that it was not for him.

He now works 4 hours each week and earns around 40.000 $ each month (at the beginning of his career he earned 40.000 $ each year, by working 80 hours a week). Well, it is not 100% clear to me wich job he does now, I only understand that he can work through a computer everywhere he is.

His suggestions are valid both for the ones who do not want to quit their current job and for the ones who cannot stand for it anymore. My opinion is that this model is not applicable to Italian working system, it requires too much flexibility from the company owners: if you show that you can do the job in half the time, the owner won’t give you the other hours from free, but he will double your work;-)

Anyway I believe that every want-to-be leader should read this book, at least to learn the meeting rules that will avoid you to lose time!! Please do, time wasting is not only money wasting… at least for the parts where he underlines the need to fix the duration and to inform the colleagues about the topics.

Another suggestion that is often difficult to let the sales leaders understand, is that you have not to accept each customer all around the world. Please remember the Pareto rule: the 20% of the clients made the 80% of the turnover! Why are you wasting time and peaceful minds to follow up clients who do little and make you angry at the end of the day??

Well, Tim Ferriss also suggests to lower at the lowest level the… customer care. This can be partially done through the Pareto Rule but then…. well, Tim, customer care is my job. After having cut all time spending activities, how can I spare more time to focus on the 20% customers?
Answer: I cannot. I am just an employee.

And last but not least: Ferris you are Young and have no experience in children at all. Believe me, with children is not that simple.

The happiness project – Gretchen Rubin

Why do you work? Why do you spend your time with family and friends? Why do you cultivate your hobbies? Why do you sing? Why do you meditate? Why do you watch TV?

Maybe you would like to give a different answers to all these questions. Actually, the answer is just one: to be happy.
Happiness, as discovered hundreds of years ago by most important philosophers, is the final goal of each of our actions.
Pay attention: happiness, not pleausure. You feel happiness when you invest in somethingl, in growth, for you or for others. You feel pleasure when you consume something.

This book is a self-help memoir. Gretchen starten her personal Happiness Project by programming it during a Whole year. Each month focused on one issue:

– January: energy and vitality
– February: marriage
– March: work
– April: parenthood
– May: leisure and hobbies
– June: friendship
– July: money
– August: eternity
– September: your passion (in her case: books)
– October: Mindfulness
– November: attitude in doing all these things
– December: happiness in general.

She did not want to change her life from top to bottom. She wanted to be happy exactly where she was, with her family, job, city. This is one thing that we hardly understand: we dream to change work or to expatriate to the Caribbeans (well, a book cannot make me change my mind…), but if by chance we manage to do this, we notice that we face the same Self. Well, not a case that one of her comandments was “Be Gretchen”.

Do not try to love something because you think that you should love it. I would like to love more classical music and jazz, but I do not. On the contrary, I love pop music, above all when I can follow it well during my running. I would like to love shopping, just to have something to chat with some ladies, but I do not. I would like to love romance books, but I do not.

The changes that Gretchen introduced into her life were all little: starting a reading Group, uncluttering, controlling her tongue when rage was starting, stopping nagging.

Above all she experienced that new things/event/people/activities boosted her happiness level.
I would never follow her suggestion about diet (she is a great fun of coffee and for sure, no vegan), but she has unclosed a forgotten wisdom mass that we shall Always remember: if you want to be happy, think and act happy.
Nothing more. So simple.

The 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires – Brian Tracy

 

In this book I found some things that I liked and some other ones that I did not like at all.

I liked that many suggestions do not refer to money alone.

Tracy tells you to find a job that you love, so that you do not need to work (actually, this was a Confucio’s suggestion), to write down your goals, to make big dreams that nobody is more intelligent than you, that it is not necessary to be rich to be happy, to read a lot, to stay with positive people, to avoid plaintive friends, to take care of own health…

On the other hand, when he explains what to do to become richer, I am in dismay.
What? Shall I save 10% of my wage each month? Why does he need to tell you this? Does it mean that in the USA it is normal to live without saving anything, through debits and credit card and overdrawn accounts?
Frugality is the keyword for Tracy. Spare and invest, spare and invest.
OK, but why should I live sparing and investing? The goal is to become rich in the mature years, it seems. To enjoy the life when you are old and retired.

Above all I did not like the chapter about the maximum commitment. I mean: I commit to my job, I like to go home after having done what I had to, but Tracy is going much further. He tells you to work harder and harder, much more than the 40 hours each week: self-made millionaires work around 59 hours each week, you should do the same!!!

And then: do not waste time. Do not chat with your colleagues and tell them that you cannot talk, if they try to involve you in some kind of time wasting. Work all the time, do not lift your head, stay on the paper and you will drawn attention on you… go to work one hour earlier, work during the break, stay on the workplace one hour later…

what??

Yes, says Tracy, this is how you can build your best reputation on work.
Well, best reputation with the boss, maybe, but what about relationship with colleagues? This guy is worse than me.

I still have the bad sensation that, when he says that you must take care of other people, he always says this because you myst then get something back.

Rejection Proof – Jia Jiang

Do you lack in self-confidence? Then you must train to get rejections. You have to do like Jia Jian, a young chinese who left his country and came to live in the USA. He got a very well paid job and abandomned it because he wanted to become an enterpreneur. Then he noticed that he could not become the new Bill Gates because he was too afraid to get… rejections. This fear blocked him and made him tremble.

He therefore started a strange journey: he decided to do odd requests to people, so that they would tell him “NO!”: in this way, he would get accustomed to rejections. Yes, self-confidence can be trained like a muscle.

Some of his requests were really strange: for instance, he asked to play football in the garden of an unknown man; to welcome passengers on a plane; to borrow some money from a warden; to teach in a university class; and so on. But stranger than his requests, were the answers of people: some of them said “yes!”, and this was a total surprise to him.

Actually, he learned a lot of thing about rejections. Not only he learned not to desperate; but also how to handle the requests or the following chat to obtain a positive reaction.
Instead of being too shy to go on with discussion, for instance, he learned to ask the reasons of the naysayer. Or not to bother about results and to do nevertheless his best.

A negative answer is rarely a rejection of your personality. It is often due to moment or personal story.
Anyway, although I understand what Jian did, I think… Well, no, I would never find the courage.
I already have my problems in asking the colleague of purchasing department when we can despatch some products, and this is my job! You can imagine the color of my face or the tone of my voice if I had to ask the postman to deliver the post on his place…

But try to imagine: what could you do if you had no such fear?
You could do almost everything.

I could start inviting some of my beloved Writers to come dinner here! Oh, well… I think it would be rather difficult to convince them to eat plant-based. Ok, I got it. Let’s go to next book.

Your Erroneous Zones – Wayne Dyer

Wich is the problem?

Where does it come from?

How to fix it?

These are the three points that Dyer touches for each of our erroneous zones.

You know what? I have all of these Erroneous Zones. All of Them! But at the end, far away from depressing myself, after the reading of this book I am more inspired that ever. Because lack of self esteem, appreciation needs, rage, laziness, restessness and so on, are all the results of our thoughts and habits. Therefore, they are curable.

My biggest problem, anyway, is my memory. I forget that the erroneous zones are curable! I forget to monitorize them. And, similarly to a lot of other people, I fear, I forget that I have them. This is why I go on reading such books: to remind myself that the work on oneself never ends.

Lack of self confidence? It can break out in several ways: gossips, red faces, envy… but if you want to declare war to this erroneous zone, do start with something little. A nice present foryou, for instance. Or you can simply tell to your chatterbox friend to wait one minute and to let you place a sentence on the matter you (she) are discussing.

Are you restless about your future, the politics, the weather? Try with action. Do something: go out, call an old friend, cut some flowers, clean the house, go swimming, lack your nails…

Are you unhappy for unknown reasons? Try to learn something new, something you have never done…

Little things.

Our moods are the results of our thoughts. We always claim for freedom and we do not notice that we often are the biggest slave-traders of our souls.

I already read some Dyer’s books in the past, but I wondered why in these weeks the book shops where full of his essays: he is dead. He passed away this August. When I discovered this, I felt a little more unhappy, although he was not a person I ever met. So, what to do? Let’s learn something. Let’s read one of his books, for instance.